Do you remember me talking about meeting the missionaries and how I was struggling with faith in God and Jesus Christ? Reading it over I see that I was confused and just feeling very pressured and eager to make them happy, and basically just wanting myself to be happy by getting baptized even if I wasn't sure about it. I was wanting to get baptized because of the missionaries wanted me to, but I knew that I needed to want to get baptized for myself.
I actually stopped meeting with them a few weeks after that post. We were running out of lessons, and frankly I wasn't so sure I wanted to keep learning about the Church anymore. But Heavenly Father was certainly looking out for me (gosh, I am totally tearing up right now) and gave me the opportunity to have a wonderful conversation with my Aunt about everything. So I ended up going to Church with her and her family for a month or two after that instead of attending the singles ward. (I felt like it was too much pressure in the social aspect, and I wanted to make sure that I was there for the religion and faith.)
Now I have switched back to the singles ward for a month or so and I couldn't be happier! I had many many times of doubt, where I was positive that I didn't want this faith in my life anymore.... I am just so grateful that I was continually pulled back to the Church and was able to overcome my doubts.
My date for Baptism is January 30, 2010*.
PS. Today I went to a Church bookstore with a friend and picked up a few things. One thing that I got was a picture of a meadow with the mountains behind it and a quote beneath saying:
"The situations and experiences we face in life reflect what Heavenly Father really knows about us and what we need to make our weaknesses become Strengths"
I truly believe this statement with my whole heart and am totally excited that I am finally in the place to become baptized. I have been waiting for this moment for months.
.... and just so all of you know, I couldn't have made it without all of your inspiring words and encouragement. I really don't think you know how much you have influenced my life!
*Tentatively set like an hour ago, but I am pretty positive it won't change! I'll definitely let you all know if it does change!