I don't like moments of doubt.
They are icky and make me feel very depressed and lonely.
Can't wait for this one to be over and I can resume my happy state. I hate that it hits when I least expect it. But I suppose that's always what happens right?
The only good thing I find that comes from these times of doubt is thinking about that quote I mentioned once before. Because faith is one of my biggest weaknesses and these moments of doubt are what will change my weaknesses to strengths.
Off to think and pray and reflect before going to sleep.
PS. I just read this on lds.org and it has helped me to feel better. I especially like this quote:
"Doubts are not wrong; they can be a step toward right. Questions are not a sign of weakness but a sign of growth. Men are not wrong when they doubt but when they fail to do something about their doubts."
I've been there before too. But good for you for remembering what you've felt or learned before. That's exactly what we're supposed to do, and sometimes most people forget that.
ReplyDeleteI hope things feel better in the morning :)
I feel doubts too, like Kelsie said. But if you felt something was right, it is still right. That always reassures me. Doubts are distractions from what we need to feel.
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you Michelle. Feel free to email me if you have any questions or call me. I mean it.
I found your blog from a crazy chain of other blogs. I know what you mean about faith. It is frightening sometimes. Have you ever read life of pi? At one point, it says, "I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life." Kind of like what one of the prophets said, "Fear is the antithesis of faith." It requires courage, and a leap, and if you knew me, you would know I am not a brave soul. But I know that if it wasn't scary and hard, then those things that I just believed in and lept for, well, they wouldn't be things that I could stand firmly on and know. Sorry I wrote all of that, that post was just exactly something I have been thinking of.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE that last quote! I recently gave a talk on that exact topic. :P I have an awesome quote from Elder Uchtdorf that goes right along with it, but it's pretty long. I'd be happy to email it to you!
ReplyDeleteI'm still so excited for you in this decision! I know that Satan is going to try his hardest to try to undermine your faith every second until you're baptized, but I know that you can stay strong and the blessings you receive will be amazing if you do!