Despite the bitterness the title of this post implies, I'm not bitter about anything, just very confused.
I have this habit of apologizing for everything. I don't mean to, it's just a reflex or something.
And it's not just saying sorry, the apologetic tone seeps into my normal talk. I was telling my friend last night that I had converted (we only see each other in class and we know each other from like preschool so I am not like that tight with her or anything). Andddd I was sounding apologetic when I kept bringing up church stuff!
When she asked me about who I hang out with I said church friends, and I heard myself saying it apologetically like I was embarrassed or something and she even said "That's okay!" or something. I am NOT embarrassed by my religion or that I hang out with people who I go to church with. That's what was so frustrating about my apologeticism. yes, I am aware that's not a word computer. It doesn't bother me when normally I apologize to someone that bumps into me, but I always do wonder why.
Does anybody else do this? I can't figure out why I would do something like that... Maybe I was feeling awkward about it because right before I told her I converted she was kind of reacting to the fact that I said my Aunt graduated from BYU.
I am PROUD of my Church. It has helped me become a better person, and hopefully I am not making other people's lives better and happier.